Walk by Faith, Not by Sight
5.3.17
10 months ago I moved to Los Angeles because I was bored and restless.
Prior to my move I lived in New York City for over 10 years. I started there for college and worked for several years. As I look back, I realized that I never really thought about what I wanted to do with my life. This is nothing new to anyone in this world.
I went to college because that's what I was told I had to do. If I wanted to be a good Asian boy and get a good paying job I needed to go to college. I didn't even know what I wanted to study and so I defaulted in studying Economics and Asian American Studies.
Once graduating I ended up working in advertising and got stuck in the grind of paying bills and loans and more bills. Thinking what to do with my life or what my passions or dreams were had to take a back seat for the next several years. It was only in the past couple months those thoughts have resurfaced. I guess its one of those coming back to my senses at 30 moments.
These days its a mix of feelings.
I'm excited. The thought of going into the unknown. figuring out who I am. What I want and what I don't want. Driving across country. Seeing my girl. Starting a life with her.
I'm scared. The though of the going into the unknown. I don't know who I am. What if I don't end up doing anything worthwhile. What if I made a mistake leaving what was already safe.
I'm alive. I've come to the conclusion that everything comes at a price. Its not a negative thing its just a reality. The cost of living can be steep but I'm alive for paying for it. I'm tired of just surviving and going through the motions. I don't want to be another zombie but I want to live. Feel both joy and pain. To laugh and cry. To have no regrets because I went for it. I want that.
10 months ago I moved to Los Angeles because I was bored and restless.
Prior to my move I lived in New York City for over 10 years. I started there for college and worked for several years. As I look back, I realized that I never really thought about what I wanted to do with my life. This is nothing new to anyone in this world.
I went to college because that's what I was told I had to do. If I wanted to be a good Asian boy and get a good paying job I needed to go to college. I didn't even know what I wanted to study and so I defaulted in studying Economics and Asian American Studies.
Once graduating I ended up working in advertising and got stuck in the grind of paying bills and loans and more bills. Thinking what to do with my life or what my passions or dreams were had to take a back seat for the next several years. It was only in the past couple months those thoughts have resurfaced. I guess its one of those coming back to my senses at 30 moments.
These days its a mix of feelings.
I'm excited. The thought of going into the unknown. figuring out who I am. What I want and what I don't want. Driving across country. Seeing my girl. Starting a life with her.
I'm scared. The though of the going into the unknown. I don't know who I am. What if I don't end up doing anything worthwhile. What if I made a mistake leaving what was already safe.
I'm alive. I've come to the conclusion that everything comes at a price. Its not a negative thing its just a reality. The cost of living can be steep but I'm alive for paying for it. I'm tired of just surviving and going through the motions. I don't want to be another zombie but I want to live. Feel both joy and pain. To laugh and cry. To have no regrets because I went for it. I want that.
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